you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
