And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You made out with two different species that night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
