I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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