She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
