I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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