her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
