meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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