Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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