super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
