Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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