what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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