He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
