So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
