I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
