Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
