Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
