I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
