Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
