all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
