My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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