my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
