Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This baby is an asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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