Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
