He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
