Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
