Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
