Just cropdusted the office
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
