No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
