I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
