She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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