Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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