Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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