How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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