I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
