can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have already put on my inside pants.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
