Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
