So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
