he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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