is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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