So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
