Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
