A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
