im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
