my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
