Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
