I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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