We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
