She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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