So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
