Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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